Tag: blog

Edwin Guevara’s Bio

Posted on February 12, 2013 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

Hello My Name is Edwin Guevara I am a 23 year old DC resident. I recently graduated from Montgomery College where I received an associates degree in general studies. I plan to attend a 4 year institution in the upcoming fall semester where I will being studying Criminal Justice and Criminology. During my free time I practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and relax by watching european football.

I currently intern at Becky’s Fund because it was something that very much hit home, having had prior experience with domestic violence and seeing many of my peer being affected by it I really felt that it was something I wanted to be part of. I saw that there was a need to get more involved and to educate individuals (especially young men), in our community about issues like domestic violence and women’s rights. I hope to build a long term relationship with this organization and hope to help it flourish and grow while making an impact on our community. In the upcoming months I will be coordinating various events including a panel discussion, a youtube contest, various fundraisers and a young mens summer workshop, all in an effort to spread knowledge of domestic violence and to teach young men to not only respect women but also teach their peers.

I am also an intern at Voto Latino, where I have learned a lot about working in an office setting, social media and organizing large scale events. I recently helped put together an event in celebration of the recent inauguration ceremony. I am currently working on two campaigns one being “Im ready” for immigration reform and the other being our “power submit” where we train our future leaders and advocates. Prior to joining Voto Latino I was never very politically active, but now I feel like a whole new world of possibilities has been opened to me.

Due to recent experiences I think it is safe to say that I really want to work in the non profit sector for years to come. I have learned a lot about my community from a local and national standpoint and I have also learned a lot about my self in the process. While I would love to keep doing this forever, I understand the need for more education and plan to attend a four year institution in the upcoming year, afterwards I hope to attend graduate school and get my masters in urban development.

Anna Battaglia’s Bio

Posted on February 12, 2013 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

My name is Anna Battaglia and I am a senior at George Washington University. I am a Women’s Studies major with a double minor in Sociology and Italian Literature and Language. I was born in Pittsburgh, but for the past eight years I have been living in Rome, Italy. I am a dual citizen and can speak Italian fluently.

For me, the issue of domestic and dating violence is one of the most important of our day. I also think that the most effective tool for creating any sort of change begins with education. By educating our youth, it possible to end a generation of violence and promote a future free from violence. That is why I am excited to get to be interning here at Becky’s Fund and being an active participant in educating youth and breaking the cycle of domestic violence.

Tiffany Gambill Bio

Posted on February 12, 2013 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

Hi! My name is Tiffany Gambill, I am bubbly, outgoing and super optimistic! I am getting over a cold so that throws me off my game. I am quiet at first, but once I get to know you my true colors will show. Speaking of True Colors, I am pretty awesome orange. In my group at TWC the orange group had to decide what it means to be orange, I instantly shouted out, “YOLO!” You only live once. I try to live life to the fullest; we never know how much time we have. I can make friends with a rock and I can cheer anyone up through humor. Laughing is a priority, it is great, it makes you feel amazing, it makes people more open appearing, everyone can laugh no matter the background, it can help you overcome a tough time and it also is a workout on your abs, not really but I like to think so. Music is another top priority of mine, it can lead everyone to laughter and it just gets people out of their environment and puts them in their own little amazing world, at least for me. It helps me think, I know it sounds weird, but in complete silence I hear everything and I am worried I may make the wrong noise, so music is my white noise that just makes my day better.

I am from Massachusetts, a town called Bridgewater it is southeast; I hate cold so winters in New England are never fun. I grew up camping down in Cape Cod for the summer, you have to visit Cape Cod, and it is beautiful, when it is not raining. I lived in Bridgewater but I attended a private catholic high school in Taunton, MA, called Coyle & Cassidy. I moved to Dartmouth, MA for college when I was 18. I went to the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth, they raved of the handicap accessibility, and I soon found out that they lied completely. But I didn’t want to transfer because I joined a sorority Phi Sigma Sigma, the love and support from these ladies was one of a kind and I don’t think I could find that if I transferred. My best friend in my sorority lives in Arlington, so now we live a metro ride away, it’s great. I know this will sound bizarre but I often forget I am “disabled” and I realized it when I mentioned lack of accessibility, so I have Friechreich’s Ataxia (FA), it’s a muscle disorder, it’s not a fun thing to have but it is what it is, it has made me the person I am today.

So in college I was a women studies major, because I wanted to help end Human Trafficking internationally. Then I had a thought, that my wheelchair would not be able to tackle the lack of accessibility internationally. When I graduated I took a Domestic Violence training through D.O.V.E., mainly, because they had a night on Human Trafficking. After the first few meetings, I became much more devoted to the issue of DV. When the trafficking night came, they informed us that many human trafficking cases are DV cases. The training helped me realize DV has every issue that I am passionate to help ending. I took another DV and sexual assault training class, which led me to want to volunteer to be a SANE medical advocate. By the time I was done with the training, I was getting ready to come here so I did not participate in the SANE program. DC is perfect for many human rights and social work issues, so in this economy where I need experience to help find a job, I thought what better way than to get DV experience in DC! And here I am.

Thanks for the Memories

Posted on December 5, 2012 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

After over a year spent in the Becky’s Fund office, I have so many wonderful experiences and memories. I began this internship not knowing much about domestic violence except that it’s bad and people are generally against it. Beyond learning all of the statistics, sad truths, and controversies surrounding dating and domestic violence, I’ve been completely surprised at the alternative ways to protect one’s self from the cycle of violence.

Family: Yes, it’s obvious and cheesy, but it’s too easy to take for granted having good relationships with family members. These are generally the people who know you best and have to stand by you no matter what. Family members are also the best resource for detecting when your moods and behaviors have significantly altered, which can be difficult to recognize about yourself.

Friends: Friends are yet another group of people that can be neglected when you have an intimate partner that takes over a large portion of your life. Take the time to keep up and maintain your friendships because these are the individuals who are most likely to tell you that they see a problem in your relationship. Friendships improve mental health and give you an outlet to air your relationship grievances in a safe space, whether or not there is dating or domestic violence in your life.

Love: A college friend once remarked on a burgeoning relationship that “relationships should be easy in the beginning,” which has inspired me ever since. We’ve all heard the saying that relationships take work, but the work should start later. If a relationship is that volatile early on, it’s unlikely to suddenly get better. There is enough drama in all other aspects of life; I want love to improve the quality of my life and not make it harder.

Acceptance: Acceptance isn’t about just accepting someone’s flaws, but also accepting when something is or is not going to work out. At Becky’s Fund, we talk all the time about the warning signs of domestic violence and how people always seem to miss them. I believe sometimes we do see the warning signs but choose not to accept that they are enough of a reason to let go of a relationship.

Occupation: The more you keep yourself well-rounded and occupied with various activities, jobs, and hobbies, the more satisfied you are likely to feel about your life. Isolation from family and friends by an intimate partner is the easiest way for a perpetrator to get away with abuse, especially if there is physical evidence. As a friend recently told me (filled with sarcasm), “Guys love it when the girl they date drops everything that made her interesting and becomes a shell of her former self.” You start a relationship because you find a person interesting and stimulating; those are traits that should never change.

I’ve learned so much this year from Becky, all the interns with whom I worked, the friends I made, and the volunteers, participants, and attendees with whom I spoke. I leave this organization feeling more than adequately prepared for life and feeling secure that I have a place to turn if I ever need assistance.

So thank you all for the many wonderful memories,

Katie Huppi

One Woman’s Old Car is Another Woman’s Lifeboat

Posted on November 7, 2012 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

With stores already decorating for Christmas, the season for spending and advertisement bombardment will quickly come upon us. In the midst of this, it is always refreshing to be reminded of the true season of the holidays – spreading cheer by giving the gift of hope and freedom. One domestic violence victim was given this priceless gift by the generous Kat T. and Bo Chokbengboun. Kat donated a car to Becky’s Fund and Chokbengboun has provided service support for necessary repairs. The car will be going to a survivor with three sons, and a newly found sense of independence.

Donated car is on its way to be fixed.

“I am ready to be a survivor. I have been a victim for far too long. Even more so, I am ready to start living,” said the domestic violence survivor. Having experienced domestic violence in her past, Kat understands the importance of having a vehicle to escape and live an independent life from the abuse. “My very first car was sold to me for very cheap from my Mom. It was my ticket to freedom in a city that didn’t have good public transportation options. I wanted to give that sense of freedom to someone,” explained Kat. Most often people question victims on why they do not seek freedom from their abusers immediately. What many do not realize is that a victim, most often, does not have a “next step” planned once they are able to leave. This stalls their departure. Similarly, as a mother of three boys, our new survivor struggled with figuring out how to leave her abuser without putting herself and her sons into an impossible position. In addition, the “Sip With Socialites” happy hour event on October 25, 2012 at the newly renovated Tony and Joe’s Seafood Place raised over $3,000 to help refurbish the donated vehicle that will be given to our new survivor. With the help of Becky’s Fund, this woman has been able to lay out a plan to leave her abuser and can now create a new and safe beginning for her and her sons. This is the true meaning of the holidays.

Don’t FALL Back Into Your Old Habits

Posted on October 3, 2012 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

Just as the weather changes from summer to fall, we need also to look carefully at who and what should transition into the next season. The old saying that some people are here for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime is very true. The people who hurt us typically are not the ones we need to stick around.

Research shows that healthy and supportive relationships can reduce stress and improve your overall health and sense of well-being. However, all relationships are not equally supportive. Building a network of supportive friends, or even just one supportive relationship, can be vital to your well being. So as the seasons change, here are some tools that can help you soul search on which of your relationships are healthy and supportive, and which ones are not.

Love Yourself: This task of “loving yourself” can definitely be challenging…but you are a powerful individual if you let yourself be.

Communicate: Sometimes the hardest thing with change is confirming it and being honest with yourself as well as the people around you. Try to communicate your feelings to the people in your life so that they can better understand your needs and you can better understand theirs.

Get rid of the trash: Although it is hard to let go of someone you love and care about, if your safety and well being are being challenged, get help and take out the trash. It will be hard but in order to get what we need we have to let go of the things we don’t.

Have fun: Laughter is the best medicine for pretty much… anything. Try to keep the positive people in your life.

Who thinks we should have ‘Domestic Violence Offender’ registries?

Posted on September 28, 2012 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

No abusive relationship starts out that way. If a guy hit you on the first date, you probably wouldn’t give him a second call any time soon. It’s almost always a progression of increasingly controlling or violent behaviors. So the scary thing is, you never know.

Every worried soccer mom or protective dad has been able to check the sex offender registry for potential threats for years. But when it comes to domestic violence, you have no way of knowing if you or your friend’s next blind date might be bad news.

And given the facts about domestic violence reoffending, it’s crucial that we be able to know just what we’re getting into. A study by the Bureau of Justice Statistics found that over half of defendants in domestic violence cases last year were at least second time offenders. And that’s only among the men who were in court and were reported. Thousands of cases and complaints go unheard each year because victims have a hard time coming forward.

Currently, there are no state registries, and though Texas and New York both considered bills to create them in 2011, both died in their respective houses. A privately owned company created a national registry that has been “in progress” since it began. Maryland has 0 offenders listed, and Virginia only about 50. It’s hard to believe these are accurate total numbers given the statistic that 1 in 3 women experiences domestic or dating violence.

So why the disparity? Why sex offender registries and not domestic violence offender registries? Both offenders are charged because of intimate violence. Both present a threat to children and potential partners. Is the law implicitly delegitimizing the danger of a domestic violence offender in comparison to a sex offender? We’re not sure, but for now, with no help from a registry, we all have to be careful about how our and our friends’ new relationships start developing and be able to say something when we see warning signs.

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Sofia’s story of LOVE then pain

Posted on September 24, 2012 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

Sofia believes in the American dream and you can see it in her smile if you knew her. She once had a vision of her future that she never stopped to pursue.  One day Sofia met the person who made her feel butterflies in her stomach and who she felt finally made her life complete.  She gave him her life and she tried to change his to make him a better person.

She realized that he had a dark past that has become a part of his present. That compulsive, social liar personality could be very hard to change, but she believe that she could do anything and that the sky was the limit. So she continued to get involved with his life and learned his deepest secrets.  Every time she thought they were progressing to a better place in their relationship, she saw more and more red flags. It started as a simple push and grab and escalated to punches and chokes until she felt that she couldn’t breathe.

Sofia found herself stuck in a dark world, the same dark world that she was trying to take him out of. He made her believe that he had the world in his hands and as any good “car dealer” he knew what to say and how to behave in front of people. Nobody would have any idea of what was really going on behind closed doors.

One day everything stopped…and he was gone. Even though she loves him to this day, she knows that she is better without him. Sofia would rather wake up every morning, praying to God that she stops having these feelings, than to never have the opportunity to wake up alive again.

She has forgiven him but hasn’t forgotten what happened and she is learning how to let him go from her heart. If you have met Sofia you know that she lights up any place, every time she walks into a room because she has the body of a woman and she still has the innocent soul of a child. If you haven’t seen her, don’t forget her story and learn from it because one day it could be the story of somebody you love.

Seynique’s Farewell

Posted on September 21, 2012 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

My first day at Becky’s Fund seems like a distant dream, and yet remains rather vivid in my memory today. It was my very first job in a professional environment and I was overwhelmed to say the least. How would I fit into the non-profit world? Would I fit in at all? What should I wear? These questions, both serious and trivial, filled my head that Monday morning on April 2 as I boarded the train from Greenbelt and headed towards the city. Though a native Washingtonian (okay, honestly, I’m from the ’burbs), my trips into the city were typically reserved for sight-seeing and school field trips in grade school.

This time, I wasn’t going to see the giant pandas at the National Zoo. No. I was determined to at least pretend that I was a fashionable and ambitious young woman in the city, even if it was just for six months. As I walked down M Street, I felt a bit like Mary Tyler Moore minus a kicky theme song and that awesome beret.

Looking back, as corny as I may have been, I’m happy that I came to Becky’s Fund with a positive outlook. From the outside, working at an anti-domestic violence non-profit doesn’t seem like the most lighthearted job. I even heard it from my friends and family. “Won’t that be depressing?” they said. “How do you know what you’re doing will make a difference?” And they had every right for posing these questions, especially the last one. How do I know that I have made a difference?

The answer is that I never will know. I may go the rest of my life never knowing if a particular survivor was able to leave her abusive boyfriend, or if a teenage girl heard our message before the violence could escalate. But I go to bed every night knowing that whatever work I did, even on tasks with a seemingly small outcome, was a part of a larger movement. It’s this sort of attitude that is the driving force behind grassroots activism. We must see the forest for the trees in order for change to happen.

I leave confidently, knowing that I am equipped to continue to this movement. I may be elsewhere, but my roots will always remain firmly planted at Becky’s Fund.

V for Victory or V for Violence?

Posted on September 7, 2012 by - BF NEWS, Uncategorized

In the athletic world, especially football, it seems aggression is the name of the game. The National Football League has undergone much scrutiny this past year after a number of current and former players suffered from severe injuries, most commonly to the head. These severe head injuries have serious consequences and are believed to be the reason some players have taken their own lives after retirement.

It is interesting to think about what changes in football rules could be made, and how long those changes would last. Yes, football holds the title as the toughest sport in America, but if violence were monitored how would it affect the game of football and its viewers?

A poll done by the Washington Post found that nearly 9 in 10 fans say reports about head injuries and their effects would not make much difference in their plans to watch games this fall. Thirty-five percent of fans say they would enjoy football more if there were fewer hard hits, but thirty-nine percent said they would like it much less.

Although the NFL discussed and implemented many ideas to make football a little safer, fans may not have noticed the harder hits that were being made last season. In March, the NFL revealed that assistant coach Gregg Williams had instigated a bounty program for the New Orleans Saints. Players were rewarded for intentional, violent hits on the field. Participating players and Williams put money towards a payout system, wherein a bonus was awarded to players who deliberately hit or injured opposing players.

The players were suspended among other penalties. The players appealed the decision and just today, September 7th, a NFL panel of appeals vetoed the penalties against the four current and former Saints players. The new ruling pretty much says the players are allowed to play again, and eventually someone else will decide penalties, if any. The current players can go back on the field and the former player can resign and play immediately. Linebacker Jonathan Vilma, one of players in the case, tweeted “Victory is mine!”

The football field is not the only place where NFL players have expressed their aggressive ways. Less than a month ago, former Miami Dolphins Wide Receiver, Chad Johnson was arrested on domestic violence charges. Johnson was fired from the Miami Dolphins, however, it is unclear whether any other teams will hire him. In his case, it is very unlikely because this isn’t his first offense with domestic abuse and his situation was widely publicized in the media. However, there are many lower scale players that commit violence or abuse outside of the sport, and are allowed to continue to play their game—by paying a few fines and going on suspension.

Is violence so engraved in American society that despite efforts to end excessive violence in sports, it will still be acceptable and even rewarded by fans of the game?