Just as the weather changes from summer to fall, we need also to look carefully at who and what should transition into the next season. The old saying that some people are here for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime is very true. The people who hurt us typically are not the ones we need to stick around.
Research shows that healthy and supportive relationships can reduce stress and improve your overall health and sense of well-being. However, all relationships are not equally supportive. Building a network of supportive friends, or even just one supportive relationship, can be vital to your well being. So as the seasons change, here are some tools that can help you soul search on which of your relationships are healthy and supportive, and which ones are not.
Love Yourself: This task of “loving yourself” can definitely be challenging…but you are a powerful individual if you let yourself be.
Communicate: Sometimes the hardest thing with change is confirming it and being honest with yourself as well as the people around you. Try to communicate your feelings to the people in your life so that they can better understand your needs and you can better understand theirs.
Get rid of the trash: Although it is hard to let go of someone you love and care about, if your safety and well being are being challenged, get help and take out the trash. It will be hard but in order to get what we need we have to let go of the things we don’t.
Have fun: Laughter is the best medicine for pretty much… anything. Try to keep the positive people in your life.
Sofia believes in the American dream and you can see it in her smile if you knew her. She once had a vision of her future that she never stopped to pursue. One day Sofia met the person who made her feel butterflies in her stomach and who she felt finally made her life complete. She gave him her life and she tried to change his to make him a better person.
She realized that he had a dark past that has become a part of his present. That compulsive, social liar personality could be very hard to change, but she believe that she could do anything and that the sky was the limit. So she continued to get involved with his life and learned his deepest secrets. Every time she thought they were progressing to a better place in their relationship, she saw more and more red flags. It started as a simple push and grab and escalated to punches and chokes until she felt that she couldn’t breathe.
Sofia found herself stuck in a dark world, the same dark world that she was trying to take him out of. He made her believe that he had the world in his hands and as any good “car dealer” he knew what to say and how to behave in front of people. Nobody would have any idea of what was really going on behind closed doors.
One day everything stopped…and he was gone. Even though she loves him to this day, she knows that she is better without him. Sofia would rather wake up every morning, praying to God that she stops having these feelings, than to never have the opportunity to wake up alive again.
She has forgiven him but hasn’t forgotten what happened and she is learning how to let him go from her heart. If you have met Sofia you know that she lights up any place, every time she walks into a room because she has the body of a woman and she still has the innocent soul of a child. If you haven’t seen her, don’t forget her story and learn from it because one day it could be the story of somebody you love.