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"I had fun. I thought that we were just going to sit around and have people talk to us," a young girl scout said out loud as we walked out of the first session.  I was pleasantly surprised as well when I participated in the Becky’s Fund event “Be Your Own Heroine,” on January 23. The program was for Washington metropolitan area Girl Scout troops, and it was my first time discussing domestic violence with a room of middle school girls. I have experience talking to older teenagers and adults, but I was not sure how much young girls would be willing to disclose.

Three short clips viewed at the beginning of the event served as the spring board for discussion, before the girls were separated so that they were able to engage in age appropriate dialogue. Myself and two other volunteers facilitated the conversation in a room of 44 middle school aged girls.

Domestic violence is usually a delicate subject to approach, and often it is not addressed in younger communities.  Many people tend to think of it as a topic that only affects adult relationships, which is not the case. If we want to deal with the issue properly, we need to start addressing this issue at a much early age. That’s why this event was so powerful for the young girls, as they learned about unhealthy relationships in their many manifestations, including peer pressure, emotional abuse and intimidation.

What most stunned me about the experience was the eagerness of the girls to openly share their experiences with one another, especially with those whom they may not be very familiar. It quickly became evident that many girls had had their own experiences with peer pressure and intimidation, both from males and females of their age group.

We regret that anyone has to experience these feelings and ill-intentions of others, but we also welcome those who had the courage to speak out. While many of the participants were comfortable sharing, there are always those that are not comfortable doing so. For these girls, and for the difficulties that all will face in the future, we discussed who they will be able to go to and ask for help. Becky’s Fund also provided them with a binder to serve as their own personal tool kit where they will be able to access all the information they learned, as well as share it with other friends.

The lesson concluded by having each of the girls make a bracelet with three beads, one yellow and two green.  While serving as the colors for Becky's Fund the one to three ratio also serves as a reminder to the girls that one in three girls will be a victim of intimate partner violence at some point in their lives. We hope that the girls will wear this to always remind themselves. Should they find themselves in an unhealthy relationship, they should remember that they: are not alone, have the power to overcome it, and can ask for help. If they suspect that a friend, family member, or someday a co-worker is in an unhealthy relationship, they should remember to lend their support.

This posting is part of a series by passionate allies in the cause. The author is Tara Mancini , a 2010 volunteer with Becky's Fund.