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Sexting: the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between mobile phones. 

One in five (22%) teen (ages 13-19) girls and 18% of teen boys say they have electronically sent or posted online nude or semi-nude videos or photos of themselves; 36% of young adult (ages 20-26) women and 31% of young adult men have done the same¹.  Even more prevalent are sexually suggestive messages: 37% of teen girls, 40% of teen boys, 56% of young adult women and 62% of young adult men said they have sent or posted these types of messages via text, email or instant messaging.  These messages and photos, most often sent to a boyfriend/girlfriend and originally meant to be private, are commonly passed around.  Almost 50% of both teen girls and teen boys say it is common for sexually suggestive text messages to get shared with people other than the intended recipient.  One-third (33%) of teen boys and one-quarter (25%) of teen girls say they have had nude/semi-nude images shared with them. 

Sexting can be a tool for power and control in an abusive relationship.  Just over half of teen girls say pressure from a guy is a reason girls send sexy messages or images; only 18% of teen boys cited pressure from female counterparts as a reason².  A boyfriend may say “if you love me, you’ll send me a naked picture of yourself.”  Once sent, he may threaten to send the images or messages to others if she doesn’t do what he asks.  These are all forms of abuse.   

The negative consequences of sexting can be extreme, even fatal.  Jessica Logan was 18 when she committed suicide in July 2008 after a nude photo she “sexted” to her boyfriend was sent around to nearly everyone in her high school.  Hope Witsell sent a nude photo of herself to a boy she liked, and another girl used his phone to send the picture to other students who forwarded it along.  After ruthless taunting, Hope, 13 years old, hanged herself in September 2009.  In early 2009, a 17-year-old was charged with possessing child pornography after he posted naked pictures of his 16-year-old ex-girlfriend online in Wisconsin.  In Alabama, authorities arrested four middle-school students for exchanging nude photos of themselves. A 16-year-old boy is facing up to seven years in prison for forwarding a nude picture of a 15-year-old girlfriend to friends in Rochester, NY.   

The Associated Press and MTV partnered to conduct a study which found that half of 14-24 year olds have experienced some type of digital abuse, which includes writing something online that wasn't true, sharing information you don't want shared, writing something mean, spreading false rumors, threatening physical harm, impersonation, spying, posting embarrassing photos or video, being pressured to send naked photos, being teased and encouraging people to hurt themselves³.   

Your Digital Rights:

You have the right to...

• Keep your passwords to yourself
• Keep your details (and others') private.
• Say "no" to friend requests (or requests for pictures, passwords, or personal info).
• Ask people to remove online pics of you.
• Ask people not to tag, copy, or change your pics.
• Stop people from posing as you or hacking your accounts.
• Choose your own friends (online and off) .
• Not to answer calls, texts, or IMs if you don't feel like it.

FIVE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE PRESSING “SEND”⁴

1. Don’t assume anything you send or post is going to remain private.
2. There is no changing your mind in cyberspace—anything you send or post will never truly go away.
3. Don’t give in to the pressure to do something that makes you uncomfortable, even in cyberspace.
4. Consider the recipient’s reaction.
5. Nothing is truly anonymous.

5 TIPS TO HELP PARENTS TALK TO THEIR KIDS ABOUT SEX AND TECHNOLOGY⁵

1. Talk to your kids about what they are doing in cyberspace.
2. Know who your kids are communicating with.
3. Consider limitations on electronic communication.
4. Be aware of what your teens are posting publicly.
5. Set expectations.

This posting is part of a series by passionate allies in the cause. The author is Jessica Colbert , a 2010 volunteer with Becky's Fund.