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December is typically thought of as a time for good cheer, but while the holiday season can bring out the best in people, it often brings out the worst in abusive relationships. Incidents of domestic violence often rise around major holidays due to a variety of factors. “There is more stress during the holidays over money, and people consume more alcohol at parties,” said Rena Pina, who works with the District of Columbia Coalition Against Domestic Violence. “It’s a combination of a lot of things.” 

The stress of the holidays can often worsen an already unhealthy domestic situation. Dealing with added expenses, high expectations, an overload of family and traveling can make for a rough environment. Add alcohol to the mix and you have the ingredients for a volatile situation. Warning signs of a potentially abusive and life-threatening situation during the holidays include: financial pressures, physical fatigue or illness, escalating arguments or conflict avoidance, increased restlessness and agitation and feelings of being controlled or lacking control.  

Though there is an increase in domestic violence around the holidays, a lot of the abuse goes unreported. Sadly, victims of domestic violence are less likely to report incidents of violence throughout the holidays as they may cling to the image of a perfect Christmas and strive to keep the family intact. Using the seasonal stress as an excuse to have to withstand a beating or verbal assault is not right. Abuse is abuse no matter what time of year it happens.

Law enforcement and social workers attest to an increase in domestic violence, but officials say the season also offers an opportunity for victims to escape the cycle of abuse. If you know someone who is being abused, help them see that their relationship is troubled and their partner is not going to change. If you witness domestic violence, call the police. Don't just hope it stops.  

Victims should have a "safety plan" to deal with escalating violence, including a strategy to immediately get out of the house and should seek medical attention immediately if assaulted, and most importantly, report the incident to police. As we move from Christmas through New Year's, let's commit to doing all we can to reduce domestic violence, and give the victims and their children all the resources they need to have a happy and healthy 2010.

This posting is part of a series by passionate allies in the cause. The author, Sean Sebastian, is a 2009 Volunteer with Becky's Fund.